You Never Want To Be The Grumpy

The 2012 Olympics Is Going To Cost £8 Billion Which Is A Lot Of Money. It'll Probably Bankrupt London. But You Can't Put A Price On Two Bronze Medals In Cycling.

When Someone Close To You Dies, Move Seats.

I Was A Christian. I Didn't Want To Have Sex Before Marriage, I Was A Bit Uptight And Not Very Self-confident. I Was A Virgin Until I Was 26.

All Comedians Are A Bit Attention-seeking And I'm No Different. Anyone With The Audacity To Want To Be Listened To For An Hour And A Half Must Be.

The Bigger The Audience, The Better With Comedy.