You Never Want To Be The Grumpy

I've Got A Friend Whose Nickname Is "shagger". You Might Think That's Pretty Cool. She Doesn't Like It.

I Think They Got It Wrong With Saddam Hussein. They Thought He Had The A-bomb. Instead He Had A Bomb.

Put Smarties Tubes On Cats Legs, Make Them Walk Like A Robot.

I Don't Think It's Any Coincidence That I Lost My Religious Faith And 'manned Up' In The Same Year. I Was Described Somewhere As A Lapsed Catholic, Which Is Funny Because I'm Not Going Back! I Want To Achieve Things Rather Than Live Life In An Animalistic Way.

The Tragedy For Comedians Is There's Nothing More They Want Than To Be Liked. We Desperately Seek Approval. It's Almost Like A Personality Disorder You Can Do As A Job.