You Never Marry The Person You First

All My Adult Life I've Been In The Practice Of Giving Advice To People Who Are Happier Than I Am.

If You Ain't Texan, I Ain't Got Time For You.

The Democrats And Republicans Are The Same Guy Admiring Themself In The Mirror.

I'm Also For Gay Marriage, Because I Say They Have Every Right To Be Just As Miserable As The Rest Of Us. Love Is Bigger Than Government. And Texas, By The Way, Has A Very Progressive Law About Gay Couples Adopting Kids. We Just Won't Let Them Get Married. So That's Not Common Sense.

I Want To Be Governor [of Texas] Because I Need The Closet Space.