I Want To Be Governor [of Texas]

All My Adult Life I've Been In The Practice Of Giving Advice To People Who Are Happier Than I Am.

I'm Too Young For Medicare And Too Old For Women To Care.

I've Been In True Love Many Times. I Just Try To Avoid It As Much As Possible. For If There's One Thing I Know About True Love, It Is That Sooner Or Later, It Results In A Hostage Situation.

If You're Patient And You Wait Long Enough, Something Will Usually Happen And It'll Usually Be Something You Don't Like.

If You Have The Choice Between Humble And Cocky, Go With Cocky. There's Always Time To Be Humble Later, Once You've Been Proven Horrendously, Irrevocably Wrong.