You Might Be A Redneck If Your

Whatever Cleaning Goes On On The Planet, Women Do 99% Of It. But See, Women Are Not As Proud Of Their 99% As Men Are Of Our One! We Clean Something Up, We're Gonna Talk About It All Year Long. It Might Be On The News, You Don't Know. A Woman Could Be Out Re-paving The Driveway. Men Actually Have Enough Gall To Run Out On The Porch And Go "hey Baby? Man, It's Hot As Hell Out Here, Ain't It! Look, Don't Worry About Emptyin' That Ashtray In The Den, I Done Got It, All Right? Did It For You, Sweet Pea. I'm Gonna Go Take A Nap Now, All Right?"

I Was Talking To Alan Jackson. He Had His Second Greatest Hits Album. He Said, You Don't Ever Get Into This Really Thinking You're Gonna Make It.

If You've Ever Made Change In The Offering Plate, You Might Be A Redneck.

If You Think The Last Four Words To The National Anthem Are " Gentleman, Start Your Engines", You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Hood And One Door Are A Different Color From The Rest Of Your Car.