You Know You're Getting Old When You

I Love Advertising Because I Love Lying. I Think Spending Your Life Trying To Dupe Innocent People Out Of Hard-won Earnings To Buy Useless, Low-quality, Misrepresented Items And Services Is An Excellent Use Of Your Energy.

Sometimes The Road Less Traveled Is Less Traveled For A Reason.

Twitter Is Good. Why Say A Lot To A Few People When You Can Say Virtually Nothing To Everyone?

I Prefer The Old Theaters Because The Audience Is... Trapped.

Airline Hostesses Show You How To Use A Seatbelt In Case You Haven't Been In A Car Since 1965.