You Know Your Gut Instincts Are Spot

When You See Somebody Walking Down The Street Wearing A Superman T-shirt, You Just Want To Shoot Them In The Chest ... When They Start To Bleed Go, I Guess Not

We Never Had A Pool, Right. So One Summer, I Remember. My Dad, To Make Me Happy. You Know I Was Bummed Out Cause We Didn't Have The Pool. So One Summer He Bought Us This Thing. It Was Yellow, You Laid It On The Lawn, Sprayed It With The Water, Run Across. Slip N' Slide. Yeah. Would Have Been Fun If Dad Checked For Rocks Before He Laid It Down! Slip N' Bleed From The Anus They Should Have Called This Ride.

I Don't Get Any Anxiety. I Don't Because Of Two Reasons. Number One, Just Breaking Through It As A Kid And Finally Getting Past It Was Like Okay, Nothing's Ever Going To Feel That Scary Again As That Deafening Silence Of A Joke Not Working. Any Joke Not Working Is Not As Bad As Not Being Able To Even Try And Get On Stage.

I'm Bringing Back The Skinny Tie But Wearing It Tied Around My Balls.

I Was Very Good At Kickball ... I Was Wonderful At Ah Doing That Kick And Your Leg Goes Up And Your Shoe Went On Top Of The School