Are There Glass Shards In My Anus?!

I Can Always Get Better. A Lot Of My Ex-girlfriends Don't Think I'm Funny.

I Never Leave A Dog Alone In A Car On A Hot Day. I Make Sure It's With An Elderly Person Holding A Baby.

Every Time You Come In From Cheating On Someone, They'll Just Whip Out The Most Adorable Term Of Endearment. Like, They'll Wake Up, Bright And Early, Sleep In Their Eyes And Say: "hey, Perfect."

You Can Try To Steal The Thunder All You Want, It Just Reminds People I'm The Lightning. You Rumble In The Distance. I Light Up The Sky.

It's An Incredible Feeling Falling In Love Someone Who Doesn't Know You Exist.