Are There Glass Shards In My Anus?!

I Was Being Chased By A Giant Crab. That's Not Funny.

If You Live Far Away From A Person You No Longer Want To Date Just Let Them Know That They Are Geographically Undesirable.

You Can't Teach An Old Hater New Truths.

I Do Try To Keep My Show Very Improvisational. I Don't Work Off A Set List; I Like To Keep It More In The Moment. I Like To Have Information About Where I'm Going, What Might Be Happening In That Particular Region As Well. I Like For People To Feel Like The Show Is For Them.

That Myspace Is The Story Of The Year. Everyone But My Mother Is On It.