You Do Live Longer With Bran, But

Ed Sullivan Brought Me To Tv First In 1952, Then Garry Moore's Program Gave Me A Lot Of Confidence And Freedom.

That's The Great Thing About New Year's, You Get To Be A Year Older. For Me, That Wasn't Such A Joke, Because My Birthday Was Always Around This Time. When I Was A Kid, My Father Used To Tell Me That Everybody Was Celebrating My Birthday. That's What The Trees Are All About.

The World Is Full Of Little Dictators Trying To Run Your Life.

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.

Let's Face It: It's Difficult Enough To Be Funny Without Worrying About What Is Going To Offend Whom.