You Do Live Longer With Bran, But

One Thing I've Never Said In My Whole Life Is, 'let's Have Dinner At A Japanese Restaurant.'

Comedy Is A Reflection. We Create Nothing. We Set No Styles, No Standards. We're Reflections. It's A Distorted Mirror In The Fun House. We Watch Society. As Society Behaves, Then We Have The Ability To Make Fun Of It.

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.

My Son Says I Never Tell Stories About Anyone Who's Living.

I Won't Eat In A Place That Has Suits Of Armor.