And Humor Has Always Been A Weapon.

A Summary Of Every Jewish Holiday: They Tried To Kill Us, We Won, Let's Eat!

As Life's Pleasures Go, Food Is Second Only To Sex. Except For Salami And Eggs. Now That's Better Than Sex, But Only If The Salami Is Thickly Sliced.

Everything My Mother Made Had To Cook For 80 Hours, And When She Made Matzoh Balls She Didn't Know Fluffy. Everything Sank.

When I Read Dickens For The First Time, I Thought He Was Jewish, Because He Wrote About Oppression And Bigotry, All The Things That My Father Talked About.

My Father Was A Dreamer - My Hero. He Was A Smart, Tough Guy From Poland, A Cutter Of Lady's Handbags, An Old Socialist-unionist Who Always Considered Himself A Failure. His Big Line Was: 'don't End Up Like Me.'