You Can't Direct Without A Good Crew.

Last Week I Got A Flu That I Caught, 'cause My Daughter Coughed ... Into My Mouth.

I Love Being Married. It's Great. But I Hate Arguing. I Hate Fighting. You Know What I Do Now? When We Get In An Argument, I Just Take Her Side Against Me. It's Just Easier; It Goes Quicker. She's Like, "what's Wrong With You?" And I'm Like, "i Know! Damn It! Argh!"

Life Isn't Something You Possess. It's Something You Take Part In, And You Witness.

You Know The Only Thing Happier Than A Three-legged Dog? A Four-legged Dog.

When You Have Bacon In Your Mouth, It Doesn't Matter Who's President.