You Can't Direct Without A Good Crew.

When I See Two Guys Kissing, I'm Like, How Come I Can't Kiss One Of Those Guys? They Look Like They're Having A Good Time.

In 27 Years Doing This, I've Seen A Handful Of Truly Great, Masterful Standup Sets. One Was Tig Notaro Last Night At Largo.

Sometimes I Try To Take A Nap Before Shows. That Clears My Head.

My Kids And I Figured Out That There’s A Third Kind Of Person, And I Don’t Know What You Call Them, But It’s Somebody Who Sees That The Glass Is Always Full Because It’s Half Full With Water And Half Full With Nothing, So That’s The Third Kind Of Person. I Don’t Know What It Is.

Cars And Cameras Are The Two Things I Let Myself Be Materialistic About. I Don't Care About Other Stuff.