Sometimes I Try To Take A Nap

In 27 Years Doing This, I've Seen A Handful Of Truly Great, Masterful Standup Sets. One Was Tig Notaro Last Night At Largo.

I've Had Soccer Moms Come Up And Tell Me They Can Relate When I Say That I Want To Throw My Baby In The Trash.

I Am Really Tired Of Looking At My Hips. I'm Seriously Really Tired Of Standing Naked In The Mirror And Staring At My Hips For Hours And Hours While Muttering, "you Hips. You Hips Need To Get It Together."

Talking Is Always Positive. That's Why I Talk Too Much.

I Know What It's Like To Have A Bunch Of Material That's Working That You Don't Care About. You Want To Die.