You Can Behave As Badly As You

Vienna Is Cold, And Dark, And Sad. It Is Laid Out As Though For A Royal Parade; The Streets Are Wide And They're Flanked By Monumental Buildings, Decorated With The Faces Of Angry Gods. And On The Roof Are Statues Of National Heroes, Wielding Weapons Of Destruction.

Is Not The Whole World A Vast House Of Assignation Of Which The Filing System Has Been Lost?

When Asked, 'shall I Tell My Mother I'm Gay?', I Reply, 'never Tell Your Mother Anything.

Nothing Shortens A Journey So Pleasantly As An Account Of Misfortunes At Which The Hearer Is Permitted To Laugh.

I Am Asked How To Remain Young, And I Say 'never, Never Work.' And That, Of Course, Is The Secret Of It.