Yeah, I Know I'm Ugly... I Said

For Christmas One Year I Bought My Son A Bb Gun. He Bought Me A T-shirt With A Bulls Eye On The Back.

A Girl Phoned Me The Other Day And Said... 'come On Over, There's Nobody Home.' I Went Over. Nobody Was Home.

On Halloween, The Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me.

Last Year My Birthday Cake Looked Like A Prairie Fire.

Men Who Do Things Without Being Told Draw The Most Wages.