Xm Radio Doesn't Have Commercials, So After

Y'know, You Can't Please All The People All The Time... And Last Night, All Those People Were At My Show.

I Thought I'd Go To A Craft Fair, And There Would Be A Jar Of Jellybeans There - "guess How Many Jellybeans Are In This Jar, And Win A Prize". Aw, Come On, Man, Let Just Me Have Some. I'll Tell You What, Guess How Many Jellybeans I Want! If You Guessed A Handful, You Are Right.

I Don't Have Any Children, But If I Had A Baby, I Would Have To Name It, So I Would Get A Baby-naming Book. Or I Would Invite Somebody Over Who Had A Cast On.

My Manager Said, "don't Use Liquor As A Crutch!" I Can't Use Liquor As A Crutch, Because A Crutch Helps Me Walk.

My Girlfriend Works At Hooters. In The Kitchen.