My Friend Said To Me, You Know

I Would Imagine That If You Could Understand Morse Code, A Tap Dancer Would Drive You Crazy.

Sometimes I Wake Up And I Think I Should Start Wearing A Beret, But I Don't Do It. One Day I'm Gonna, Though. You Bet Your Ass, I Will Have A Beret On. That's Ridiculous, But It's True. I Always Fight With Wearing A Beret.

I Have Some Speakers Up Here, Thank God, Because Last Night I Didn't Have Them And I Was Telling Jokes And I Had No Idea Which Joke I Was Telling. So I Told Jokes Twice. I Even Told That One Twice.

I Went To A Cigar Store, The Man Behind The Counter Asked Me, "what Kind Of Cigars Do You Like?" I Answered, "it's A Boys."

I Like When They Say A Movie Is Inspired By A True Story. That's Kind Of Silly. "hey, Mitch, Did You Hear That Story About That Lady Who Drove Her Car Into The Lake With Her Kids And They All Drowned?" "yeah, I Did, And You Know What - That Inspires Me To Write A Movie About A Gorilla!"