I Got Binoculars 'cause I Don't Want

I Guess The One-liner Kind Of Comic Sounds Like A Guy Who Can Talk And Talk And Whatever The Subject Is, He Can Pull Out A One-liner, But I Couldn't Do That. I Didn't Like The Association. I Mean, I Love Steven Wright, But So Many People Started Saying "steven Wright" To Me, And I Would Get Mad, Because I Never Wanted To Be Thought Of As Copying Anybody.

I Tried To Throw A Yo-yo Away. It Was Impossible.

A Sleeping Bag Is A Tortilla For A Human.

I Was Going To Get My Teeth Whitened, But I Said, "i'll Just Get A Tan Instead."

I Went To The Home Depot, Which Was Unnecessary. I Need To Go To The Apartment Depot. Which Is Just A Big Warehouse With A Whole Lot Of People Standing Around Saying "we Don't Have To Fix Anything."