Where Religion Is A Trade, Morality Is

I've Never Known An Auctioneer To Lie Unless It Was Absolutely Necessary.

Show Me A Thoroughly Contented Person, And I Will Show You A Useless One.

There's One Good Thing About Tight Shoes; They Make You Forget Your Other Troubles.

Laughter Is The Sensation Of Feeling Good All Over And Showing It Principally In One Place.

Newfoundland Dogs Are Good To Save Children From Drowning, But You Must Have A Pond Of Water Handy And A Child, Or Else There Will Be No Profit In Boarding A Newfoundland.