Whenever I Go Out With Other Married

Stand-up Is The Only Career Like That Where Once You Get Really Big At It, People Kind Of Encourage You Not To Do It.

You Don't Pay Taxes; They Take Them From Your Check. That's Not A Payment - That's A 'jack.

Women Can Have All The Evidence But They Still Want The Confession.

You Know, Some People Say Life Is Short And That You Could Get Hit By A Bus At Any Moment And That You Have To Live Each Day Like It's Your Last. Bullshit. Life Is Long. You're Probably Not Gonna Get Hit By A Bus. And You're Gonna Have To Live With The Choices You Make For The Next Fifty Years.

I Think It's Better To Have Ideas.