I Got An Ant Farm; Them Fellas

I Think Foosball Is A Combination Of Soccer And Shish Kabobs.

I Met The Girl Who Works At The Doubletree Front Desk, She Gave Me Her Number. It's Zero. I Tried To Call From Here, Some Other Woman Answered. "you Sound Older!"

I Don't Want To Have My Face On The Cover Of A Wheaties Box. I Wanna Have My Face On The Cover Of A Rice Krispies Box. "snap, Krackle, Mitch And Pop"!

I Got A Smoke Alarm At Home, But Really It's More Like A 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.

I Want To Be A Rebellious Mcdonald's Owner. Cheeseburgers... Nope... We Got Spaghetti!