I Bought A Scratch Off Lottery Ticket,

I Went To The Airport, I Put My Bag In The X-ray Machine, I Found Out My Bag Has Cancer. It Only Has Six More Months To Hold Stuff.

I Had The Cab Driver Drive Me Here Backwards, And The Dude Owed Me $27.50.

At My Hotel Room, My Friend Came Over And Asked To Use The Phone. I Said Certainly. He Said Do I Need To Dial 9 I Say Yeah. Especially If It's In The Number. You Can Try Four And Five Back To Back Real Quick.

I Was At A Bar, And This Guy Bumped Into Me, And He Did Not Apologize, And He Said, "move!" I Thought That Was Rude, So I Said, "go To Hell!" Then I Started To Run. He Caught Up To Me. He Had A Mustache, A Goatee, A Pair Of Earrings, Sunglasses, A Ponytail And He Was Wearing A Hat. He Said, "hey, You Got A Lot Of Nerve!" I Said, "hey, You Got A Lot Of... Cranium Accessories!"

An Escalator Can Never Break: It Can Only Become Stairs. You Should Never See An Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order Sign, Just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry For The Convenience.