When You Make Drama You Are Like

Smart Is Knowing If You're Dumb. Knowing When To Shut Up And To Listen To People That Are Smarter Than You.

Whenever I Go Out With Other Married Couples, I Like To Bring Along A Single Crackhead. Just To Spice Things Up.

My Relationship With My Daughter Is Gonna Affect Her Relationship With Men For The Rest Of Her Life... Sometimes I'm Walking With My Daughter. I'm Pushing Her In The Stroller, And Sometimes I Just Pick Her Up And Stare At Her, And I Realize, My Only Job In Life Is To Keep Her Off The Pole.

One Of My Daughters Told Me The Other Day, "kevin Hart Is Funnier Than You, Daddy." I Told Her, "does Kevin Hart Make You Pancakes?"

Actually, I Think All Addiction Starts With Soda. Every Junkie Did Soda First. But No One Counts That. Maybe They Should. The Soda Connection Is Clear. Why Isn't A Presidential Commission Looking Into This? Or At Least Some Guys From The National Carbonation Council.