When You Delete Pictures Of Your Ex

Why Do Bad Guys In Movies Always Love To Whistle Really Slowly?

I Feel Like The Gods Have Certainly Patted Me On The Head.

I Was Being Chased By A Giant Crab. That's Not Funny.

When You Are Doing Stand-up Comedy, You Are The Writer, Producer, Director, Sometimes Bouncer.

If You're Drunk Please Don't Drive. If You're On Shrooms Please Don't Think Walmart's A Prison For Bad Clothing That Needs Help Escaping.