I've Lived (in La) For So Long,

My Real First Job Was Delivering Newspapers With I Was 15. I Would Ride My Bike Around And Chuck Papers At People's Houses. The Thing That Sucked Is When I Would Go Collecting Everyone Acted Like They Were Not Home. Totally Sucked But Because I Could Control The Weather I Showered Trashcan Size Hail Down On Their Homes Until They Were Completely Decimated.

Listening To Evanescence Makes Me Want To Break Up With A Girl In Real Time As A Giant Antique Hourglass Falls To The Floor In Slow Motion.

Created A Word Game To Play With A Person You're Fighting With. Silent Treatment. Nothing Happens Until One Of You Quietly Says, Hey, You Hungry?

When You Get Hit By A Car Sometimes Your Shoes Will Fly Off, Sometimes Your Pants Will Come Off, But I Was Not Fortunate Enough To See The Pants Portion.

I'm Watching Some Television Tonight. I'm Watching The Discovery Channel. You Know, This Channel, You Never Ever Plan On Watching This. It Just Happens. You're Flickin' Around, All Of A Sudden - Boom - You're Watching A Mole For An Hour-and-a-half.