I've Lived (in La) For So Long,

Valentine's Day Is A Time To Celebrate The Joy Of Being In Love. Unless You're Single & Lonely Then It's Called Laundry Day.

I'm Sure That People Who Have Been Tweeting Funny Things Have Ended Up On Writing Staffs Of A Late Night Show.

Any Guy That Refers To Dating Women As The Hunt Or Being On The Prowl Should Be Evaluated For A Number Of Conditions.

I Was Being Chased By A Giant Crab. That's Not Funny.

A Couple Of Days Back, I Got Into A Car Accident. Not My Fault. Even If It's Not Your Fault, The Other Person Gets Out Of Their Car And Looks At You Like It's Your Fault: Why Did You Stop At A Red Light And Let Me Hit You Doing 80!