When People Refer To 'back In The

The Whole Thing With Comedy Is That You Are Always In Control. Writer, Director, Actor, Producer, And Sometimes Bouncer. And You Are Just A Piece Of Their Puzzle.

My Real First Job Was Delivering Newspapers With I Was 15. I Would Ride My Bike Around And Chuck Papers At People's Houses. The Thing That Sucked Is When I Would Go Collecting Everyone Acted Like They Were Not Home. Totally Sucked But Because I Could Control The Weather I Showered Trashcan Size Hail Down On Their Homes Until They Were Completely Decimated.

If You Think Your Demeanor Is Mellow Or Not Particularly Charismatic, The Material Can Life You Higher. So Write Everyday, And Get Onstage Or In A Coffee Shop Where They Are Doing Open Mice, Anywhere You Can Perform Even If That Means Starting Your Own Open Mic Night - And Be Your Own Self.

Sometimes, Like We All Do, I Look At Myself In The Mirror. Sometimes I Cry. Like A Really Hard Cry Like You Just Watch Yourself Cry But Then You're Done And You're Just Glowing And You're Staring At Yourself.

Ex-girlfriends Will Find Themselves In My New Routine. Sometimes They Like That, And Sometimes They Definitely Do Not. But Comedians Should Come With A Giant Warning Or Disclaimer: If You Date Me, It Will Be In My Act.