My Nickname For My Mom Was 'the

I Don't Know If I Could Rebuild An Airplane Engine, But I Know A Little Bit About Rotors And Rivets.

It's Hard To Be Happy For Someone When You Know Deep Down They'd Kill You If They Had The Chance.

I Had One Job That Was Kind Of Cop-like. One Summer I Did Security At A Miniature Golf Course. Just Standing Out In The Sun All Day, Hey, Hey, Excuse Me Sir. Get Your Putter Out Of The Whale's Ass. Come On, This Is A Place Of Miniature Business. This Is Not A Playground Even Though It Looks Like A Playground.

Strip Clubs Are Great Places To Meet Interesting People You Only Wanna Know For About 40 Minutes.

I Was Being Chased By A Giant Crab. That's Not Funny.