When People Come Over To My House

I Used To Buy Lottery Tickets Every Week Until I Realised You Could Watch It On Tv For Nothing.

I Am Trying To Release Endorphins Here. I Am Not Preaching To You - I Am Trying To Make You Laugh.

My Girlfriend Said She Wanted Me To Tease Her, So I Said "alright, Fatty."

Tv's Not The Same Buzz. If Someone Tells You Three Million People Watched The Show Last Week, That's Good But, When You Walk Out In Front Of 1,000, You Think, 'oh My God, This Had Better Be Good'.

I'm Not Worried About The Third World War. That's The Third World's Problem.