When People Come Over To My House

British Scientists Have Demonstrated That Cigarettes Can Harm Your Children. Fair Enough. Use An Ashtray!

The Tragedy For Comedians Is There's Nothing More They Want Than To Be Liked. We Desperately Seek Approval. It's Almost Like A Personality Disorder You Can Do As A Job.

My Favourite Road Sign Is 'falling Rocks'. What Exactly Am I Supposed To Do With That Information? They May As Well Have A Sign Saying "random Accidents Ahead", "life's A Lottery, Be Lucky."

Remember To Never Answer A Phone During Sex, Even If You Hilariously Answer With 'i Can't Talk Now, I'm Going Into A Tunnel'.

I Was In Love With The Idea Of Being In Love With A Woman Way Before I Was Actually In Love With One.