I Was Sleeping The Other Night, Alone,

I Was Sick Of People Making Fun Of My Hair And So I Cut It Off And I've Got Much More Attention Than Ever Before. It Was Like When Mona Lisa Was Stolen From The Louvre In 1906 - Three Times More People Came To See Where It Used To Be.

Countries Are Making Nuclear Weapons Like There Is No Tomorrow.

In College I Was One Of Six Males Who Auditioned For Five Male Roles In A Comedy Play. I Was The One Rejected. At That Moment I Made Up My Mind Never To Place Myself At The Mercy Of Some Pompous, Goateed, Black-turtleneck-shirted "should I Yay Him Or Nay Him?" Pantywaist Ever Again.

I Ran Five Miles Today. Then, Finally, I Said, 'here, Lady...take Your Purse.'

I Got Some New Underwear The Other Day. Well, New To Me.