I Was Sleeping The Other Night, Alone,

You Know What I Hate The Most? People That Imitate Owls.

The American Government Is Making Nuclear Weapons Like There's No Tomorrow.

I Used To Be Scared Of Pretty Girls, Until One Confessed They're Just As Scared Of Me.

Lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.

I Lent A Friend Of Mine $10,000 For Plastic Surgery And Now I Don't Know What He Looks Like.