When I Was A Kid My Parents

My Wife Can't Cook At All. She Made Chocolate Mousse. An Antler Got Stuck In My Throat.

It's Nice To Be The Best, But Not When Being The Best Brings Out The Worst In You.

When We Got Married My Wife Told Me I Was One In A Million. I Found Out She Was Right.

During Sex, My Girlfriend Always Wants To Talk To Me… Just The Other Night She Called Me From A Hotel.

My Kids Scotch Tape Worms To The Sidewalk And Watch The Birds Get Hernias.