When I Was A Kid My Parents

I Looked Up My Family Tree And Found Out I Was The Sap.

Life's A Short Trip. You'll Find Out.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. When I Went On The Roller Coaster, My Old Man Told Me To Stand Up Straight.

With Me, Nothing Goes Right. My Psychiatrist Said My Wife And I Should Have Sex Every Night. Now, We'll Never See Each Other!

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'