When I Was A Kid My Parents

My Wife's So Dumb, She Got A Nail In The Spare!!

With My Wife I Don't Get No Respect. I Made A Toast On Her Birthday To 'the Best Woman A Man Ever Had.' The Waiter Joined Me.

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. He Told Me Never Take Candy From A Stranger Unless He Offered Me A Ride.

Last Week I Told My Psychiatrist, 'i Keep Thinking About Suicide', And He Told Me From Now I Have To Pay In Advance.

My Wife And I Were Happy For 20 Years. Then We Met.