When I Was A Kid My Parents

At Christmas Time I Sat On Santa's Lap. His Fly Was Open ! Boy What A Present He Gave Me !

I Found There Was Only One Way To Look Thin: Hang Out With Fat People.

I Feel Sorry For Short People, You Know. When It Rains, They're The Last To Know.

Men Who Do Things Without Being Told Draw The Most Wages.

People Ask If I Can Get It Up In The Morning. I Tell Them Are You Kidding I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.