When I Was A Kid, My Nickname

I Go From Stool To Stool In Singles Bars Hoping To Get Lucky, But There's Never Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

I Love England. In Fact, They're Getting To Know Me So Well At Heathrow Immigration That This Time I Was Able To Completely Bypass The Six Months Rabies Quarantine.

The Other Night, The President Gave A Speech. He Said, "children Are Our Most Prescious Natural Resource". I Thought, "let's Hope It Never Comes To That".

I Was Walking Home One Night And A Guy Hammering On A Roof Called Me A Paranoid Little Weirdo. In Morse Code.

When I Was 10, I Beat Up The School Bully. His Arms Were In Casts. That's What Gave Me The Courage.