When I Was A Kid, I Really

I Gotta Quit Smoking, Doctor's Orders, And The Drinking, Court Orders.

Capital Punishment, That Thing Scares Me, It Really Does. I Was Talking To My Friend About The Electric Chair, And He Starts Freakin' Out. He's Like 'the Electric Chair? That's Too Good For These People. That's Too Good For Them'. Alright, How Do We Make The Electric Chair Worse? How About This? They Have To Pedal A Car Battery To Their Own Head. Is That Ok? Is That Enough, Mr. Hitler?

I'm A Joke Comic. I Tell Jokes. I Like Writing A Joke, And I Like When A Joke Works, And I Like Other Comics Who Tell Jokes.

I Have A Lot Of Pot Tendencies. I'm Always Late, I Laugh For No Reason, I Watch Jeopardy! With The Sound Off And Make Up My Own Questions.

I Like Doing Stand-up And I Love Putting Out Tv Specials.