Is She Crazy, Like It Says On

If You Take Off Your Pants And Her First Reaction Is, "awwww, Look At It...like A Little Baby Jesus." Time To Buy A Porsche.

Have You Seen That Magazine Barely Legal? That Means When You Look At It, You're Almost A Pedophile.

Friends Are Important, Dontcha Think? Hmmm? I Think So. The Way I See It, You Got Friends, And You Got Your Best Friend, Big Difference. To Me, A Friend's A Guy Who Will Help You Move. A Best Friend's A Guy Who Will Help You Move A Body. That's How I Look At It.

Every Dude In Here Has Had A Fantasy About Jessica Simpson. Here's Mine: Jessica, Hold Your Sister Ashlee So I Can Kick Her In The Throat.

I'm Not The Comic Of The Generation, I'm Not Even The Funniest Guy In My Family.