When I Die, I Want To Be

I Like To Read, But Otherwise I'm Just Your Average, Self-obsessed Comedian. It's Pretty Much All I Think About.

I'm Getting Pretty Worried. My Girlfriend Hasn't Gotten Her Period. And She's Already 14.

When I Was Seven, I Broke My Leg Playing Soccer. Just To Feel Something.

Do Whatever You Want To Do, Whenever You Want To Do It

Every Sunday My Dad Calls To Ask If I Went To Church. And Every Sunday I Lie And Say: Sorry. Wrong Number.