When I Die, I Want To Be

I'm Actually A Really Nice Guy, Once You Get To Blow Me.

My Girlfriend Has The Greatest Story As To Why She Isn't Religious Anymore. When She Was A Kid, Like 12 Years Old, Her Parents Nailed A 25 Pound Crucifix To The Wall Right Above Her Bed. About Two Weeks Later, In The Middle Of The Night, The Crucifix Falls Off The Wall And Leaves A Two Inch Gash In The Back Of Her Dad's Head.

About A Month Ago Some Kids In My Neighborhood Were Playing Hide-and-go-seek And One Of Them Ended Up In An Abandoned Refrigerator. It's All Anybody Talked About For Weeks. I Said, 'who Cares? How Many Kids You Know Get To Die A Winner?

I Guess I Prefer The Laughs. I Couldn't Do A Whole Set Of Just Shocks, But I Like Throwing A Fastball Inside Every Now And Then To Keep People On Their Toes.

If Your House Is On Fire And You Can Only Escape With Your Life And One Thing, What One Thing Would You Take Out Of Your House? I Got To Think My Laptop Is The One Thing That Is Totally Irreplaceable. Either That Or My Son. Laptop. I'll Go Laptop.