When I Die, I Want To Be

My Neighbor Complains Every Time My Girlfriend And I Have Sex. We're Not Even That Loud. But He Used To Date My Girlfriend.

I Try To Retire Jokes As Soon As I Can Once I Put Them On An Album. But I Can't Think Of Anything I Just Stopped Doing For No Reason.

I Got Into Comedy Because I Wanted To Get Into Writing.

Todd Glass Has Amazing Energy On Stage. Dave Attell Is One Of My Favorites Because He's A One Liner Comic Who Is Always Incredibly In The Moment With The Audience. As For Newer People, I Think Adrienne Iapalucci Writes Some Great, Dark Jokes And Sean Patton Has A Hilarious Voice On Stage.

I Want To Marry The Kind Of Girl That Walks Out Of An Abortion Clinic With A Lollipop.