When Did You Ever Hear Of A

Oh How I Hate You. I Hate You So Much It Gives Me Energy. I Have To Get Up Early In The Morning Just To Hate You, Because There's Not Enough Time In The Day! Please Go Away!

I Don't Know That You're Able To Measure Your Aggregate Wisdom As You Go Through Life. I Can't Say That I Ever Feel That I'm Sitting On Top Of A Growing Mound Of Wisdom.

When I Was Young, All The Politicians Looked Like Ancient Latin Teachers Or Greengrocers. They Were Mumbly, Stumbly Men With Their Hair Blowing In Their Eyes, Walking Into Trees, Opening The Wrong Door. They Had No Idea How To Present Themselves.

I Can't Relax Here. These People Have No Pubic Hair Anywhere. We Have Pubic Hair On The Ceiling.

I Have No Qualifications To Do Anything Else And There Weren't Any Formal Application Forms You Had To Fill In For Stand-up, So I Thought I'd Give That A Twist.