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Stand-up Came Naturally To Me Because People In Ireland Talk. But That's Not Talking On Panel Shows; It Is Structured Fun. It Reminds Me Of Some Tragic Aunt Clapping Her Hands And Bouncing Into A Room And Announcing We Should All Play Games... And If We Don't We Are All A Rotten Spoilsport.

People Who Get Implants, It's So Depressing, You Know... People - I Don't Know. The Route Of That, You Know, Maybe They Want More Love Or Attention, Or What It Is, But They Always Go For The Most Obvious Place, You Know? Here... Well If You Really Want More Attention, Why Not Get Them In Your Eyes? And Then Move Your Eyes Down To Where Your Nipples Used To Be, Put Your Breasts Up On Your Head, Everybody Will Pay Attention!

Religion Is The Yeast Of Death Cakes. It Is The Most Awful Agent On A Vulnerable Mind. It's The Refuge Of Alienated And Lonely People. It's What People Had Before Television. It Yokes People Together Into An Imaginary World. It Is Just People Talking To Their Imaginary Friends, At Length. I Wouldn't Mind, But Some Of The People Are World Leaders.

You’re Not An Adult At All - You're Just A Tall Child Holding A Beer, Having Conversations You Don't Understand...

I Actually Very Rarely See Comedy Myself, And Although I Admire The Work Of Some Comics, It Does Come From All Over, So I’ll Get A Charge Out Of Some Fiction Writers And Poets.