I'm Organised In Some Ways, But Not

I Find It Incredibly Boring When People Are Mean About Some Individuals, Especially If The Individual Has No Power. I Can Understand How Someone Deems It Necessary If Somebody Is In Power To Tear Them Down - I Think That's Really Crucial. I Make A Lot Of Mean Jokes About Myself; As A Theme, Suffering Seems To Me A Very Interesting Thing For Comedy, But Not The Suffering Of A Particular Individual.

If You Covered A Broom Handle With Oil And Shoved It Up My Arse, Then Put Me On A Trampoline, In A Lift, I Could Write A Better Song On The Walls.

If You're A Comic, You Don't Have A Rehearsal Room; You Rehearse On Stage. My Main Concern Is Remembering Everything. I've Written Lots Of Material, But How Do You Memorise 90 Minutes? That's One Hell Of A Long Speech. I've Always Had Problems With That.

I Need A Healthy Injection Of Cynicism Right Now.

Eggs! They're Not A Food, They Belong In No Group! They're Just Farts Clothed In Substance!