Do Your Own Thing. Speak In Your

I've Been Writing Since I Was Very Young, Even Before I Was A Teenager. As Far As I'm Concerned, I Am A Writer - Whether My Writing's Spoken Or Written In A Blog, Paper, Book Or Printed On The Side Of A Submarine.

I Don't Have Lungs Anymore! Just Two Spare Bags That Flew In Under A Bridge One Day.

I Have No Qualifications To Do Anything Else And There Weren't Any Formal Application Forms You Had To Fill In For Stand-up, So I Thought I'd Give That A Twist.

Wow This Place Is Really Big Isn't It? They Must Do Proper Stuff Here, Like Opera And All That...shite.

Go And Lie Down In The Dark... For Hours... And Don't Move. I'm Locking The Door Now