When Another Comedian Has A Lousy Show,

Everything Good That Happened To Me Happened By Accident.

When You Talk About The World's Greatest Entertainer You Have To Say Al Jolson Because There Was No One Like Him. Only Judy Garland And Perhaps Frank Sinatra Got Anywhere Near Him!

I Was Born In Waukegan A Long, Long Time Ago. As A Matter Of Fact, Our Rabbi Was An Indian.

A Scout Troop Consists Of Twelve Little Kids Dressed Like Schmucks Following A Big Schmuck Dressed Like A Kid.

Hors D'oeuvre: A Ham Sandwich Cut Into Forty Pieces.