No Matter How Often I Tell People

A Scout Troop Consists Of Twelve Little Kids Dressed Like Schmucks Following A Big Schmuck Dressed Like A Kid.

I Gambled At The Crap Table All Night And Finally Lost $8, But During That Time The House Gave Me Four Drinks And Two Cigars, So It Was Still A Lot Cheaper Than Renting A Room.

I Don't Deserve This Award, But I Have Arthritis And I Don't Deserve That Either.

Any Man Who Would Walk Five Miles Through The Snow, Barefoot, Just To Return A Library Book So He Could Save Three Cents - That's My Kind Of Guy.

How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall? Practice. Practice. Practice.