No Matter How Often I Tell People

I Went To A Meeting For Premature Ejactulators. I Left Early.

I'm Like Will Rogers, I Never Met A Man I Didn't Like... Well, Eichmann Maybe.

I Gambled At The Crap Table All Night And Finally Lost $8, But During That Time The House Gave Me Four Drinks And Two Cigars, So It Was Still A Lot Cheaper Than Renting A Room.

The Doctors Couldn't Find Anything Wrong With Me Except That I Have A Slight Stomach Pain. Wait Till I Get My Hospital Bill! Then I'll Really Have A Pain The Stomach!

A Rich Man Is One Who Isn't Afraid To Ask The Salesperson To Show Him Something Cheaper.