I Was Going To Buy My Girl

I Believe In Being Honest With Myself. If There's One Thing I Hate It's When A Comedian Is Great And Won't Admit It. I've Never Met One Like That, But If I Did, I'd Hate Them.

I Took My Girl To Dinner, And She Laughed So Hard At One Of My Jokes That She Dropped Her Tray.

Give Me Golf Clubs, Fresh Air And A Beautiful Partner, And You Can Keep The Clubs And The Fresh Air.

Hors D'oeuvre: A Ham Sandwich Cut Into Forty Pieces.

Everything Good That Happened To Me Happened By Accident.