It's Not So Much Knowing When To

Give Me Golf Clubs, Fresh Air And A Beautiful Partner, And You Can Keep The Clubs And The Fresh Air.

I Believe In Being Honest With Myself. If There's One Thing I Hate It's When A Comedian Is Great And Won't Admit It. I've Never Met One Like That, But If I Did, I'd Hate Them.

Hors D'oeuvre: A Ham Sandwich Cut Into Forty Pieces.

Any Man Who Would Walk Five Miles Through The Snow, Barefoot, Just To Return A Library Book So He Could Save Three Cents - That's My Kind Of Guy.

My Wife Mary And I Have Been Married For Forty-seven Years And Not Once Have We Had An Argument Serious Enough To Consider Divorce; Murder, Yes, But Divorce, Never.