What I Love About Jewelry Is You

And Since We're All Adults Here, Let's Be Brutally Honest-most Babies Are Not Actually Attractive. In Fact, They're Weird And Freakish Looking. A Large Percentage Of Them Are Squinty-eyed And Bald And Their Faces Are All Mushed Toegther, Kind Of Like Renee Zellweger Pushed Up Against A Glass Window.

I'm At The Top, Top, Top Of My Game Now. I'm So Happy To Be On That Stage, I'm In Control Of It, And I Love Every Minute Of It. I Walk Onstage In Rehearsal And I Start To Smile. And So I Just Don't Care What Anyone Else Is Doing. Do What You Want, Say What You Want. Nobody Else Can Do What I Do Onstage. Nobody.

Comediennes Are The Lucky Ones, Because If You're Funny, You Can Be 125 Years Old And They Will Still Accept You.

Marriage Isn't A Contest To See Who Is Most Often Right. Marriage Requires Being What The Japanese Call 'the Wise Bamboo,' Which Means You Bend So You Don't Break. Treat Your Spouse With The Flexibility And Respect You Would Give To A Top Client. Think How We Treat Clients; We Smile, We Are Polite, We Listen To Their Ideas. Never Forget That Your Spouse Is Your Most Important Client.

I Will Only Praise Someone Who Can't Take Anything Away From Me.