Well, All's Fair In Love, War And

Humor Is Something That Thrives Between Man's Aspirations And His Limitations. There Is More Logic In Humor Than In Anything Else. Because, You See, Humor Is Truth.

Occasionally, A Finger Comes Up To Wipe A Tear [of Laughter] From The Eye... And That's My Reward... The Rest Goes To The Government.

And Now, In Honour Of The 150th Anniversary Of Beethoven's Death, I Would Like To Play 'clear The Saloon', Er, 'clair De Lune', By Debussy. I Don't Play Beethoven So Well, But I Play Debussy Very Badly, And Beethoven Would Have Liked That.

...the Elephant Smoked Too Much.

Many People Have Asked Me Why There Are Three Pedals In These Grand Pianos. Well The Pedal In The Middle Is There To Separate The Two Other Pedals.