We Would Have Broken Up Except For

A Political Satirist's Job Is To Draw Blood. I'm Not So Much Interested In Politics As I Am In Overthrowing The Government.

I Made The Mistake Early In My Career, When I Moved To Hollywood, Of Being Attracted To Actresses. I Used To Go Out Exclusively With Actresses And Other Female Impersonators.

If You Were The Only Person Left On The Planet, I Would Have To Attack You. That's My Job.

There Were Four Million People In The American Colonies And We Had Jefferson And Franklin. Now We Have Over 200 Million And The Two Top Guys Are Clinton And Dole. What Can You Draw From This? Darwin Was Wrong.

If You Maintain A Consistent Political Position Long Enough, You'll Eventually Be Accused Of Treason.