To My Knowledge, I Was The First

Smartphones. Who Cares? Smartphones. I Only Have Dummy Phones.

In The 45 Years I've Worked In Casinos, I Dreamed Of Being Honored By An Organization Like The American Gaming Association, Especially Since I Don't Even Have A Hunting License.

Eddie Fisher Married To Elizabeth Taylor Is Like Me Trying To Wash The Empire State Building With A Bar Of Soap.

When I Got Out Of High School, I Wanted To Be An Actor But Was Getting A Lot Of Rejections. I Was Getting Rejected By Life. My Mother, God Rest Her Soul, Told Me Not To Quit.

I've Never Had A Writer, And I'm Proud Of That. Everything I've Per­formed Has Been From My Own Head.