To Me, Comedy Is A Game.

My Policy Is 'no Stone Throwing Regardless Of Housing Situation.'

Sometimes I Feel Like I'm Making A Connection With A Stranger, But Then It Turns Out I'm Not. Like, I Was In A Mall, And I Saw This Lady Hitting Her Kid. So I Went Up To Her, And I Was Like, "yeah, Get Him!" She Got All Mad At Me. I Was Like, "i'm On Your Side Here."

Love Is, And I Hope It Never Isn't.

We Do Not Allow Dwarf Tossing. If You Toss A Dwarf, The Dwarf Will Be Tossed Right Back At You, But Faster.

When I Was A Kid, I Always Wanted To Live In California Because I Liked Skateboarding.