One Time I Saw An Old Man

I Wanna Make A Jigsaw Puzzle That's 40,000 Pieces. And When You Finish It, It Says 'go Outside.'

It Would Be Interesting If Elvis Were Reincarnated As An Elvis Impersonator.

There's A Saying That Goes, 'people Who Live In Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Stones.' Ok. How About, 'nobody Should Throw Stones'? That's Crappy Behavior. My Policy Is, 'no Stone Throwing Regardless Of Housing Situation.

To Make A Squirrel Look Less Uptight, Put Tiny Sunglasses On It.

Why Are There Not Positive Mysteries? It's Always Who Stole The Diamond, Or Who Killed The Butler? How About... Who Made Cookies, Somebody Cleaned My Room.