Tim Tebow Has Been On The Bench

Compared To Clinton, I Feel Like A Loser. I Can't Even Get The Intern To Make Me Coffee!

Night Clubs Scare Me. They're Dark And They Stink And They're Dangerous And Everybody's Drunk.

This Hillary Clinton Scandal Has To Do With Emails. All I Get Are Emails For Canadian Viagra.

Mitt Romney Is Running For President Again. That Will Be Attempt No. 3. Well, Everybody Needs A Hobby. He's Almost Certainly Running, And I'm Almost Certainly Retiring, So I Don't Care.

They Found A Cave Once Lived In By Osama Bin Laden And The Only Thing In The Cave Were Some Boxer Undershorts, And Macaroni. I'm Telling You, You Add An Old Stack Of Playboys, This Could Be My Place. It's Like I Have A Twin.