I'm An Environmentalist. Most Of My Jokes

Number One: Don't Frisk Me. Don't Hurt Me Physically. Don't Get Anywhere Near My Neck. And Don't Call Me Regis.

Are You Excited About The Recall Election? Arnold's Campaign Has A New Slogan: 'win One For The Groper.'

I Cannot Sing, Dance Or Act; What Else Would I Be But A Talk Show Host.

I Went Through One Period When I Smoked A Surprising, A Really Breath-taking, Amount Of Grass Almost Every Night.

Right After The Show Tonight, I'm Going To The New York City Car Show. You Get To See The Models That Will Be Crashed Next Year By Drunken Secret Service Agents.