I'm An Environmentalist. Most Of My Jokes

The Winner Of The Westminster Dog Show Gets To Drink Champagne - Out Of The Toilet.

George W. Said He Doesn't Watch Television. And, Of Course, Well - The Reason For That Is The Clintons Stole The White House Satellite System.

I'm A Wiseass And A Smartass, And I Always Have Been.

Earlier Today, We Got A Call From Stephen Hawking. He's A Genius, And After 6,028 Shows He Ran The Numbers And He Said It Works Out To About Eight Minutes Of Laughter.

Finally We Got Some Good News About The Economy. Barack Obama Got $800 Billion To Rescue The Economy. All I Can Say Is, 'thank You, Oprah.'