This One Commercial Said, "forget Everything You

Alcoholism Is A Disease, But It's The Only One You Can Get Yelled At For Having. Goddamn It Otto, You Are An Alcoholic. Goddamn It Otto, You Have Lupus... One Of Those Two Doesn't Sound Right.

I Like When They Say A Movie Is Inspired By A True Story. That's Kind Of Silly. "hey, Mitch, Did You Hear That Story About That Lady Who Drove Her Car Into The Lake With Her Kids And They All Drowned?" "yeah, I Did, And You Know What - That Inspires Me To Write A Movie About A Gorilla!"

I Once Saw A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. And It Was Way To Literal For Me.

I Don't Have A Girlfriend. I Just Know A Girl Who Would Get Really Mad If She Heard Me Say That.

I Hate Turkeys. If You Stand In The Meat Section At The Grocery Store Long Enough, You Start To Get Mad At Turkeys. There's Turkey Ham, Turkey Bologna, Turkey Pastrami. Some One Needs To Tell The Turkey, 'man, Just Be Yourself.'