I Know People Who Believe In Ghosts

I Want To Make A Vending Machine That Sells Vending Machines. It'd Have To Be Real Big.

I Went To A Record Store, They Said They Specialized In Hard-to-find Records. Nothing Was Alphabetized!

I Sometimes Close My Eyes During A Show Because I Have Drawn A Picture Of An Audience Enjoying The Show More On The Back Of My Eyelids.

I Hate Turkeys. If You Go To The Grocery Store, You Start To Get Mad At Turkeys. You See Turkey Ham, Turkey Bologna, Turkey Pastrami. Somebody Just Needs To Tell The Turkeys, "man, Just Be Yourselves!" I Already Like You, Little Fella. I Used To Draw You. If You Had A Couple Of Fingers Missing, You Would Draw A Really Messed-up Turkey. That Turkey Was In An Accident!

I'm Into Carpooling, Because Sometimes My Car Gets Hot And Needs To Refresh Itself.