This Is A Pie Chart About Procrastination.

Everybody Knew That You Should Never Provoke A Rattlesnake, Much Less Tie It Into A Bow. But That Didn't Stop Judd. What Did Stop Him Was The Rattlesnake.

I Want To Get The Joke To Work Without Having To Put Any Words Or To Say Anything. I Just Want The Person To Look At It, And Quietly In Their Brain, They Can Just Put It Together And Say, "cool, That One Works".

My Mind Says One Thing, But My Body Says Another. Thanks A Lot, Indian Food And Beer.

You Know What's The Greatest Part Of Anything Ever In The History Of Everything? Exaggeration. No, Wait; It's Correcting Yourself. No, Better Yet, It's Making Lists.

I Like Birthdays Because We Celebrate Life With Cakes. It's So Cool. Sometimes When I See A Baby, I'm Like That Much More Cake In The World. But Then When Someone Dies, I'm Like The Cake Streak Is Over.